Lincoln's Waffles

I last posted about the inauspicious beginning to the Sharon Elementary School’s Safety Patrol trip to Washington DC.   After our three hour tour on the side of the road, we finally got on our way, arriving somewhere close to midnight.  After sorting out the mess that occurred when I bleary-eyededly took the wrong suitcase up from the lobby only to accidentally make some poor tired girl cry because she thought her luggage was stolen, I settled in the room with my son, JD, and his buddy, Beanie, and having a spirited debate over whether JD slept with his Mom, which was creepy to him, or with Beanie, which was equally creepy to him, but for different reasons, we all went to sleep. 

Five hours later, we woke up, ate breakfast, and got back on the bus.  It had been so little time since we departed that I'm pretty sure there was still a me shaped dent in my seat.  Let me just say this: to the fabulous teachers who do this every year, Coach Yarman and Mrs. Dr. Senora Cleveland -- you are incredibly brave, caring educators, who are either deserving of sainthood or clinically insane or both. 

We then went to Arlington Memorial Cemetary.  Arlington is, of course, a somber, serious, thoughtful place, and therefore not very appropriate for me to describe in this blog.  I will only make the following observations: these fifth graders did an amazing job of actually being somber, serious, and thoughtful.  Some kid had a step counter on his phone, and we walked 2.2 miles, all of them uphill.  We are lead on this tour by a fantastically kind, knowledgeable, patient tour guide who, despite the fact that she does not look to be any younger or more in shape than me, was able to walk at approximately 45 miles per hour, and shall hereafter be known as Speedy McRunnypants.  I won't say anything about the graves of the luminaries and heros buried there, because I couldn't possibly do them justice or pay the proper respect.  I will say that the one gravestone that stuck out for me was the one that described the man's name and military accomplishments, and then a hasty "and his second wife" scrawled on with the gravemarker's engraving equivalent of a Sharpie. 

After that we got back on the bus on the way to lunch.  I think maybe I am losing my hearing after all, since it was announced that after lunch we would be visiting the White House and what I heard as "Fort Sleeter."  After thinking for a while I realized that Lincoln wasn't killed while defending a Union Stronghold I'd never heard of before, he was instead assisinated at Ford's Theater.

Lunch was uneventful, but for the fact that we ate at a food court with lots of options, and to a person, except for me, everyone selected meals from Moe's, Five Guy's, or Quizno's, all of which can be found within ten miles from whence we came.  I chose a sampler plate of Indian food, along with Mango Lassi to drink.  Everyone looked at me as if I were eating a plate of colorful cat litter.  If this trip is to expand the minds of these young children, it is an epic failure from a culinary standpoint.  I include my own son amongst the failures.  I started to be disappointed in everyone, until it was pointed out to me that when one is confined to a bus with forty other people for hours at a time, one might not want to experiment with unfamiliar spices. 

On the way from the food court to the White House, we saw the Very Same McDonald's where President Clinton ate french fries on the way back from a jogging trip and caused an acre of rainforest to be taken out to supply the newsprint to report on that gem.  Oddly enough, that little gem stuck with my son more than the war heros and monuments, and he proudly shows off his picture of that particular set of golden arches to anyone who will look. 

The White House itself was fairly uneventful, except for the randon middle aged Asian lady who insisted on lining up with the rest of our kids and being in our group picture.  After that was Fort Sleeter where, in response to a question, we were informed that the Ford Theater is still used as a Theater, but that no, the same play that was playing when Lincoln got shot was not still being performed.  Which was good, I thought, since the current play-in-residence was Hello Dolly, and there would have been something seriously strange afoot with the space-time continuum had Lincoln been watching Hello Dolly.  Although it is possible that Carol Channing was up on the stage while Lincoln was there.  Ba da BUM.  Also, there is a restaurant across the street called “Lincoln’s Waffles.” 

Mmmmmmm.  Waffles.

Note: this is part two of a three part series on the Sharon Elementary Safety Patrol’s Trip to our Nation’s Capitol.