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Is Civility Really Dead?

It sure seems that way. Do you think there is a chance of America ever returning to a more civil society?

Whether on the nation's roadways, over social media or even just in person, it seems civility is a lost art. With a presidential campaign that is has been branded as one of the most uncivil of all time, it's not surprising that the vitriol flows down the ranks.

But it's not just the presidential campaign. People insult each other over twitter, Facebook and on chatboards, seemingly just for the sheer pleasure of it. Gone are the days where elders were respected and people were civil to strangers. Remember the old adage, a "stranger is just a friend you don't yet know." That sure went out of date with the onset of the age of Internet anonymity. Now a stranger is just someone who can be torn to shreds, whether it be for his or her opinion, intellect, education, or just simple command of the English language.

So what happened? Is civility really dead or is it just another fad we're going through and, like the bell bottoms, it's destined to come back into fashion again at some point in time?

sidonia schumann October 23, 2012 at 12:54 pm
We get what we give. Do your own part and good will return to you.
Martha Wallace October 23, 2012 at 01:33 pm
What is this garbage? Who wrote this? In this story it says "Now a stranger is just someone who can be torn to shreds". What do you mean about "NOW"? What does NOW have to do with anything? Have you ever been forced ride on the back of the bus? Did you ever have to drink from a different water fountain because you were black? Were you ever forced to take a job as a maid and looked down at because you were of a specific race? Were you forced to educate yourself long past grade school because you couldn't go to college yet you were determined to be competitive? Do you know what is like to be discriminated against right now because of your age and possibly sex and race? It sounds like to me that someone that wrote this had their feelings hurt and now sees the world as a different place.
This story is such a load of crap. Do not tell me that people were once civil and times have changed. It sounds like your world changed and you are seeing what many of us have seen our entire lives. Someone wrote this story from a personal perspective without considering the lack of civility that has always existed. This is offensive and should be taken down or either written by someone with a thicker skin. Is civility really dead? How am I to gauge civility?
Bob Reid October 23, 2012 at 04:38 pm
Point proven.
Mary Lou October 23, 2012 at 06:38 pm
I dont think civility is dead..I saw a great act of civility last night in Romney exercising great civility in a major debate. @Martha- No- I have never done any of those things, but have neither taken a part in such as forcing someone to either. Just like I wasn't a part of the native Americans and all that took place then either. I also wasn't a part of the white/English/Scottish slavery debacle either. We are far far ahead and beyond such acts that took place in History. We are all working on new history, with a lot more acceptance, peace, tolerance and fairness. We would not be making strides or progressing in any of those areas, if we were still fighting and holding onto the past.
George Wilson October 23, 2012 at 07:46 pm
All radio stations and TV stations should be required to offer balanced perspective and different points of view. For many, many years we operated under a Fairness Doctrine in this country, and I think the country was well-served. I think the public discussion was at a higher level and more intelligent in those days than it has become since. This is known as the Fairness in Media doctrine. Now all you get are rants from the left and the right that lead to a lack of civility in the public discussion of issues.
Sharon Swanepoel (Editor) October 23, 2012 at 09:20 pm
George, I absolutely agree with you there, in part. It just shouldn't be up to a government to impose a fairness doctrine - that would always be subject to which party is in power. I don't know the answer, except that we the people need to impose our own fairness doctrine on what we are offered as unbiased reporting. We need to be able to see through the propaganda and discern what is the truth. Just none of us seem very equipped to do that anymore.
Tammy Osier October 23, 2012 at 10:26 pm
Sharon, I remember the days when reporting was just that...reporting the news. No commentary or opinion. As a matter of fact, I think those journalists would have been considered unprofessional if they interjected their opinions. The medias job was not to cover up their favorite politician and expose the ones they did not support- they were expected to be unbiases and the medias job was to vet presidents and expose wrongdoing. Now they cover it up indescriminately. One opinion enters the fray, it's no longer good journalism.
Brian Crawford October 23, 2012 at 11:16 pm
Once the genie's out of the bottle it's hard to put it back. When you see a US Congressman shout "you lie" at the President during a State Of The Union Address and hear religious leaders openly question his faith on the morning news shows it's hard not to feel that we've crossed a line that can't be uncrossed.
I experience it every day here on the Patch. Because I offer a somewhat different viewpoint I get called every name in the book. I've even had my appearance questioned. I see the same thing happen to George. People throw words around like communist and socialist without stopping to think what they're accusing their neighbor of. The other day someone here even suggested taking up arms against their neighbor if Obama gets reelected. I blame talk radio and the cable news shows, folks like Limbaugh, Hannity and Beck for encouraging the boorish behavior that has become common place in our political discussion. Yes there are also those on the left who are guilty as well but nothing anywhere close to an equivalency.
Sharon Swanepoel (Editor) October 23, 2012 at 11:29 pm
Brian you are right, but it really does work both ways. I think everybody sees the insults directed at them much clearer than those directed the other way. There have been some really ugly things said about both presidential candidates, their wives and some of their supporters. I saw a whole bunch of tweets suggesting riots if Obama loses - in fact, it was actually calling for riots if he loses. I've also seen people referred to in very unflattering terms for their so-called "redneck" views, even on Patch. I think uncivil discourse is an equal opportunity status here on Patch as anywhere else. But always the optimist, I'm hoping that this time around, whichever way the election goes, we will at least have a year or two cooling off period before suiting up to face each other again. Maybe a pipe dream, I know, but hey, I can dream can't I?
Jane October 23, 2012 at 11:44 pm
"History" isn't really that long ago Mary Lou. I remember being a youngster during the Civl Rights movement and the black kids at my public high school getting badly hassled. It reminds me a lot of the way some of my fellow Arizonans are treating Hispanics today.
R October 24, 2012 at 12:28 am
Sorry about the break you desire, it probably won’t be much of one since the next round is the congressional races that focus on 2014 ...
The next chants will most likely be “ We must keep the house!” or “We must take the house!”. We can’t address anything that would jeopardize the election! It's become multi - year long "March Madness" meets WWF and the NFL.
Athens Mama October 24, 2012 at 03:07 am
I think the author is discussing the current state of political discussion, but I think your perspective is very valid.
Athens Mama October 24, 2012 at 03:09 am
Mary Lou, I think it sounds quite convenient for you to try to brush the past under the rug. Our country was built upon these choices, and what our country was built upon, so were our communities. If you weren't part of all those debacles, at least be part of the awareness that acknowledges that aftershocks from them most certainly exist....
Athens Mama October 24, 2012 at 03:11 am
Let's be real - that type of attitude is encouraged in many of the Christian churches here in the South. They're less Jesus centered - although you certainly hear the name a lot - and more Republican country clubs.
Athens Mama October 24, 2012 at 03:14 am
How can people not be personally affected? To many - it's a question of taking away a woman's (often low income) right to choose the future of her body and her life. For many others - it's a question of whether or not it's ok to kill an unborn child. There's no in-between. Similar with the deficit, similar with jobs, similar with foreign relations, similar with the environment. The stakes are so high, that it is difficult for people not to become empassioned regarding their beliefs and feel that all is lost if their side does not win.
Tammy Osier October 24, 2012 at 10:35 am
Athens mama, I certainly hope that is not an attitude in most churches. I go to a church where you can't really call it any particular type of church (ie: white church, black church etc..), when you look around, you really can't find a label, so we just don't. So, we just move to the basic foundational message and reach out to the community and help those in need. We go to jails, prisons, help people find jobs, pay their rent, teach them skills, even teach them to speak the language. We've even got a ministry to help people hwo are found living under bridges. We have people who adopt children who have been taken out of sex slavery. So, whether the election goes my way or not, is neither here nor there. Our part of the body of Christ will continues doing what we're doing.
John B October 24, 2012 at 11:29 am
Tammy...you can't possibly be a conservative if you're out there helping people in need. All liberals know that! ;)
Maureen Ruiz October 24, 2012 at 01:25 pm
I am always amazed as I drive down Broad Street in Winder how many people wait for others to pull out of spaces. In shopping centers the carts are returned to the areas for empty carts. I love this area, the civility is wonderful. Having white hair people are always holding doors for me. I spent most of my life in South Florida, so this to me is heaven. There are always going to be people who are just stump dump with their manners and attitude, but most people try to be decent.
Mary Lou October 24, 2012 at 02:18 pm
@Jane- in MY opinion, 44-57(civil rights movement) years ago is not 10-20 years..which in MY opinion would be "not that long ago". I am sorry for your friends that were hassled. I hardly can imagine in today's times, that occurring as it did almost 60 years ago.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- @athens mama- its not a convenience, its a reality in comparison of times. I swept nothing under the rug and am sorry you choose to misread my point and repackage it as such. I am an eternal optimist and will always choose to find the positive in the negative. I am aware thank you, of those "debacles" and any aftershocks that may still exist. I choose to look ahead at progress and solution rather than "live" in the past. A victim mentality will never ever move forward, regardless of how tragic the event or events. It in no way minimizes the horror of such event. It really wasn't "that long ago" BACK then in time comparison to the Holocaust. That occurred within just a short time to when the civil rights movement began. In today's times, the Holocaust was a long time ago and people have since moved hugely past that. It doesn't change the horrors of those peoples lives back then and some til today. My point wasn't to minimize anything but to look to the progression and change, as to so it can continue to move forward and create new history.
Susan October 24, 2012 at 02:41 pm
I'd like to change direction here and address Sharon's comment "Gone are the days when elders are respected." It used to be that kids respected adults simply because they were taught to respect adults. Now, in certain schools where I've subbed (notice that is in past tense) I've had kids tell me, "I don't have to respect you until you earn my respect." Who's teaching them this???
Ryan Smith (Editor) October 24, 2012 at 03:22 pm
See, I was always taught that respect was the default position, and only withdrawn once one was proven unworthy of it.
Susan October 24, 2012 at 04:25 pm
Like innocent until proven guilty, maybe?
Denzel Hill October 24, 2012 at 07:00 pm
You gauge civility by your own actions toward others.
Denzel Hill October 24, 2012 at 07:20 pm
Amen Maureen. Life may be hard, but you don't have to make it harder for a stranger. Sometimes a kind word or an unexpected kind act can make a difference in a person's life.
Sharon Swanepoel (Editor) October 24, 2012 at 08:01 pm
That's they way I was taught too Ryan.
Athens Mama October 24, 2012 at 08:47 pm
@Tammy - point taken. It is an evil to generalize, and I fell into that trap.
Elizabeth October 25, 2012 at 03:03 am
Many people have jumped on Sharon here, but this IS the "opinion" section of the DaculaPatch. Sharon was just sharing her opinion, and as they say, "Opinions are like bellybuttons - everybody has one".
George Wilson October 25, 2012 at 02:54 pm
@Sharon Swanepoel
A big problem on the Patch is the lack of enforcement of basic net etiquette rules.In particular,off -topic posting and hijacking a discussion thread.Perhaps the Patch should publish them.
George Wilson October 25, 2012 at 03:05 pm
@David
No not when you look at all the rules of net etiquette.
George Wilson October 25, 2012 at 03:18 pm
@Sharon Swanepol
The Fairness Doctrine worked just fine and didn't require any excessive government .It was repealed in the late eighties and then we started to see the rise of radical and extremist talk shows. These talk shows have contributed to the coarseness of public debate and the lack of civility. This rule was basically self governing by the radio and TV stations under the watchful eyes of The Federal Communications Commission. Let's not forget that the air waves belong to the public not to the companies that we let use (and now abuse) them.

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Sharon Swanepoel (Editor) June 19, 2013 at 09:16 am
David, it's still there we are just in the process of working out the bug on uploading photos toRead More articles that we authored (ugh!). I just didn't want to promote it and have people try and upload photos unsuccessfully. Depending on how long it takes to address this issue, I may keep June open through part of July - I hope not. If you have any photos you want to add, email them to me and I will upload them for you in the meantime.
Sharon Swanepoel (Editor) June 19, 2013 at 09:19 am
That is the strawberry fields. I have a picture of the strawberry fields between the welcome toRead More Loganville and welcome to Grayson signs that I will get up soon.
EMILY GOLDSTEIN June 18, 2013 at 09:49 pm
Rabies tag on dog leads to a disconnected owners number
Sharon Swanepoel (Editor) June 18, 2013 at 06:11 pm
Yea, sorry David. We are still dealing with some "issues." It rejected Jason's blog, andRead More none of us, not even our top regional editor, is being given authority to release it. Poor Jason, I know he so hates being rejected! And we hate it happening to him. The people not being "bugged" by technical issues, however, are reporting that it is super easy to use.
TheSkalawag June 19, 2013 at 08:10 am
I wonder. Will Patch restore the reply button and add a responded to your comment notification?
Sharon Swanepoel (Editor) June 19, 2013 at 09:21 am
Please keep these comments coming. We are forwarding all these issues to our production team. TheRead More ones that are most pressing are more likely to be addressed first. Once we have the initial roll out completed and working well, the tweaking will begin.
TheSkalawag June 18, 2013 at 08:29 pm
I don't think that Ray needs a tinfoil hat but I just don't see the inexorable march to theRead More dystopian world Ray is foretelling either. I do understand the gloom and doom outlook and I attribute that to the unrealistic quest for the Norman Rockwell version of life in America. That kind of life was made for tv. Life never really was like that. At least not that I remember anyway. And I would wager not for the majority of Americans.
Good Grief Y'all June 19, 2013 at 09:55 am
Ray was wearing his tinfoil hat when he wrote this. Yikes! America being dominated by fear andRead More repression is exactly what the progressives have been fighting against all along, especially so since 2007. Cynicism is creepy.
Dave June 19, 2013 at 03:12 pm
I have it on good authority that the revolution will begin in October. Stay tuned.
Sharon Swanepoel (Editor) June 18, 2013 at 03:05 pm
Tom, I will see if I can find the connection.
Sharon Swanepoel (Editor) June 18, 2013 at 05:51 pm
Good news! Her name is Izzi and she has been reunited with her owners.
Tom Laverick June 18, 2013 at 09:42 pm
Great News!!!!
TheSkalawag June 19, 2013 at 08:42 am
I agree with Raven Nichols. I think that it is more important to find out the reasons WHY kids areRead More contemplating and committing suicide. GGY is right. It is a dark subject and off putting but the fact that kids are taking their own lives at such a young and tender age is an even darker subject that can't wait to be addressed until they are in college they may not make it that far. I disagree with Tammy in that I don't think girls have don't have a more drama in High School than boys. It's just drama over different things. And I don't think that the teacher was looking for objectivity but insight into the reasons for teen suicides. After all who would have a better understanding of the why suicides occur in teens than other teens. I applaud the teacher.
Good Grief Y'all June 19, 2013 at 09:49 am
I see your point Skalawag and I raise it. Maybe this would be a good CDC survey subject. ImagineRead More the backlash, though! I still think it's a dangerous topic as a class assignment. We probably already know the reasons for teen suicide. We do need better methods and awareness to identify those at risk.
Dave June 19, 2013 at 03:18 pm
Yeah, that's the ticket! Get the government involved to tell us what to think. The CDC is a greatRead More place to start.
Octo Slash June 14, 2013 at 12:18 pm
My kids drink coffee every morning because they need something to accompany their cigarettes.
Tammy Osier June 14, 2013 at 01:12 pm
Tr - the perfect diet - the Mediterranean diet has a lot of fish in it. Olive oils etc... OurRead More American diet has a lot of animal fat in it and look at us as opposed to other nations! Fish oil is brain food. A multi is good, but we should ask our pediatricians about adding fish oil to our kids' diets. We should get our (good) fats through diet. Good fats help vitamins go where they are supposed to and do what they're supposed to do.
Deedee June 15, 2013 at 08:12 pm
My grandma always drunk coffee all day and I started around 30 and I am no good without at least oneRead More cup a day but she always stated that we couldn't have any as kids because it will stunt our growth. I have always felt that there is something to many of those old sayings and did not let my son touch it.
Tammy Osier June 17, 2013 at 01:53 pm
DR, seems like an oxymoron doesn't it? I'd like to hear from someone who is actually from there toRead More find out their spin on why they even enter a contestant in the first place. It's my understanding that a woman that shows that much skin in public will be flogged or worse? Maybe democracy is taking ahold in some places, who knows?
Good Grief Y'all June 17, 2013 at 03:24 pm
I was wrong. Guys are interested pageants. You would no doubt be happy if the contestants justRead More wore the face shawl with their bikinis.
Karsten Torch June 17, 2013 at 04:30 pm
Couple of thoughts - One, why hold it in a land where there is going to be this kind of protest?Read More Just move it and don't worry about it. Other, I find it interesting how the Muslims want us to be understanding and inclusive of their beliefs, but don't even think they'll allow anything they don't agree with. Just a tad bit hypocritical...
R June 14, 2013 at 02:06 am
You mean the FEES don't you? Cause they aint taxes don't you know...
Bonnie June 14, 2013 at 11:50 am
I call it a "rainbow!"
M.K. Osborne June 14, 2013 at 03:30 pm
Fees is when its lightning too .
Mr. B June 13, 2013 at 01:29 pm
They're not Americans. They don't deserve to step foot on American soil.
Good Grief Y'all June 13, 2013 at 01:34 pm
Meh, a difference without distinction.
Good Grief Y'all June 13, 2013 at 01:37 pm
Huh, you learn something once in a while on Patch blog threads. I didn't know you must be anRead More American citizen to be tried and convicted of crimes against America . . . ;p I think John and Sarah could handle them . . . you betcha! They would probably beg to be sent back to Gitmo. LOL