Just Spinning My Wheels

Some reflections on my purpose in life.

Do you ever feel like you are just spinning your wheels in life? Just going through the motions each week:

Go to work (or school).

Go home.

Go to bed.

Get up and repeat.

Over and over. Day after day, week after week, month after month.

Do you ever feel like you are missing out on what you are supposed to be doing with your life?

Ever think that you are not making any real difference with your life?

I do.

I feel like I am missing it. Missing my true purpose. Not really making a difference in the things that really matter in life (eternal things). I feel like I am just going through the motions of life, all the while wondering what I am going to be when I grow up.

What's particularly odd about this is that I do not have some dead end job, so do not hear me saying that. I am incredibly grateful for me job, and while it does not pay what I would like for it to (but who's does) it does help to provide for my family. I get to help people, and I have a chance to make a difference the people's lives. Little boys (and girls) dream of being a firefighter when they grow up.  Grown women swoon when you walk by in your bunker gear (that might be a stretch...a huge stretch...but I was going after a point). It is a dream job.

But for me, it is a dead end job. It is not where I should be. What is so frustrating is that I do not have a grasp on where I am supposed to be. It is what I have always wanted to do, but it is not what I should be doing...

I have felt a call to full time vocational ministry, but I have had exactly zero luck in finding a job. What is worse is that I do not even know what sort of job I should apply for! I know that I love the church. I love the Gospel. I love working with kids and teens. I love the "least of these." But I cannot really see myself working as a youth pastor for some reason, the position that I thought for years was for me.

I feel like I am just spinning my wheels, but not ever really going anywhere. Stuck in the mud. Even worse is that I am not sure which direction to point my wheels to get out of the mud!

I know that I am tired of the status quo. Tired of living a life for me. Tired of working to build up my little kingdom. Tired of working to build my renown, instead of the renown of the One who made me.

I want my life to reflect Psalm 115:1:

"Not to us, LORD, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness"

That was the intent of naming the blog Soli Deo Gloria. I want to live a life solely for the Glory of God. I want when people to look at how I live my life, every single aspect of my life, to see Christ in me.

I need to do a much better job of that.

Because if I can refocus my life on living for the Glory of God, He'll direct my paths, maybe not by letting me know every step I am to take in my journey in life, but enough to guide my today. And then tomorrow there will be enough for that day...

A verse that keeps coming to my mind on this topic is Colossians 3:23-24:

"Whatever you do, do it enthusiastically, as something done for the Lord and not for men, knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord. You serve the Lord Christ."

Whatever it is you are doing, do it as though it is for the Lord. Whether you are one of the cart guys at Wal-Mart, a secretary, a surgeon, or the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, live each day for the Lord. It will help ease the stress over your workplace problems. When you refocus and realize that you are not working for your boss, but Christ, it changes things.

As for me, that is my goal...


Have you ever felt like you were stuck in the "mud" of life and did not know which way to go?

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Jason Brooks January 23, 2012 at 02:08 PM
Been there, brother. And let me say - not all vocational ministry jobs are created equal. It's far better to wait until the Lord brings something along for you than to start cranking out resumes to all the local parishes. I understand the spinning your wheels thing though - I feel that way about my writing most of the time, as if it should be accomplishing more than it is. But the Colossians verse is on point: whatever you do, do it for God. Doesn't matter who sees, reads, knows or appreciates it, if you do it with your whole heart and in His Spirit, it will glorify Him. Hang in there, Kris!
David Binder January 24, 2012 at 01:48 AM
I have to laugh. Kris, you of all people have such purpose in your life. A firefighter, a man of God, a husband, a father. You spend your days HELPING people in their worst situation. You lead people to the glory of the Kingdom. You come home to a wife & 4 adorable children whom you provide food, clothing & shelter. I believe it's natural for most of us to feel unfullfilled. We don't know the direction He has for us. The not knowing is the hardest part. But rest assurred, you are on the path that He has made for you. Walk tall & with purpose. Your direction will become clear. In His time.
Kris Parker January 24, 2012 at 12:51 PM
Thanks for that Jason! I did the whole "cranking out the resume" thing for a little while. I sent resumes to every SBC Youth position I could find in the Southeast...and did not even receive a single phone call. It was depressing, but also enlightening in that I stopped to refocus.
Kris Parker January 24, 2012 at 12:51 PM
Thanks David, I appreciate the nice words!
Gail Lane January 24, 2012 at 01:44 PM
I'm with Jason on this one and I'll relate my own experience. Once you quit trying to manipulate it, you can relax in trust in God and whatever "it" is, you will recognize it is His will when you see it. Not sure if that makes sense, but basically, quit trying to make it what you feel you are led to do, and let God actually do the leading. You'll know it when you see it ... and it will come easily and it will be right. And perhaps where you are now ... with an amazing testimony of God's love to his little children through the care that you and all your compatriots give to our community .... do it with full purpose of glorifying God and representing Him in your work. You're on the right track Kris; quit stressing it!


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