This past Sunday I had a new and different experience. I went to a funeral, but that was not the part that was new and different.
Unfortunately, like many of you, I have been to numerous funerals in my life. However this one was different. Not because of my relationship with the deceased, because you see I had never had the honor of meeting this gentleman before his death from cancer.
No, it wasn't going to the funeral, or my connection to the deceased that was different. What was different was that when the funeral started I was the person standing behind the podium. This was the first time I had ever had the opportunity to have any role in a funeral, much less lead one. I thought it was a beautiful service, which I can say because it wasn't anything that I did to make it so. This man, Loyd Wood, had written everything he had wanted to be said at his funeral. My role was to read his words to his friends and family (which by the way was harder than you might think- it's not easy reading the personal words of a deceased man to his widow sitting in front of you).
What made it so special for me is because the family didn't just draw my name out of a hat, or pick me from a list. They called me and asked me to have a part in saying Goodbye to their loved one. I was shocked when I got the call. But more than that, I was honored. I used to work with Mr. Wood's daughter before she took another job and we had become pretty good friends. I would say that it's not terribly unusual, to be friends with someone you work with. What makes it unusual are the differences that separate us.
If you recall, I'm fairly conservative. In fact, I was introduced as an "ultra-Conservative, Bible-thumping, Baptist that makes a typical conservative look liberal" on Sunday after the service. And that's pretty spot on. I make no apologies for that, and I have no intentions on changing that anytime soon. So what provides the twist to this story is that my friend, who asked me to speak at her Daddy's funeral, is a homosexual.
Now that makes things significantly more interesting doesn't it?
To say that we have different views on things would be an understatement. After all, remember my reputation as an ultra-Conservative...
But we're friends.
It's a sort of odd relationship that we have. It's one that confounds some (many) of my friends (and probably hers too). It's confounding, puzzling, and even comical, but it works. You see, we are able to value each other without degrading each other. We both have strong views that won't be changing, but we can also see past that. No one has compromised any of their core beliefs to befriend the other. The only thing that has been comprised has been stereotypes.
The concept is possibly mind-boggling to you, even many of you, but I would say it is a clear Biblical concept. After all, look at Jesus. He hung out with all types of folks, including the "down and outs" of society. He even took quite a bit of heat from the religious elite for his relationships with others. But that didn't stop Him, it won't stop me, and it shouldn't stop you.
What if each one of us moved past the "label" that society has given us (or that we've taken upon ourselves), to befriend someone. Whether I (or you) are liberal, conservative, atheist, moderate, homosexual, Bible-thumper, Mormon, Gun-toter, pro-choice, pro-life, cat lover, vegan, Democrat, Republican, Flying Spaghetti Monster followers, we're all people.
Because we're all people, we're all valuable.
(Remember that word? It'll be a recurring theme in posts to come).
Sometimes we get all hung up on the label of a person, and forget that they're people. People that we should be loving, not shunning. No matter which side of an issue you are on we should be able to move past the labels at some point to befriend each other.
Because it's the people, not the labels, that really matter.
And people are valuable.
All of them.
Even when they are "different" than you.
Where we dont care about what other people might do in their bedrooms. Enjoy your stay :)
Grant- You frustrate me...
It's just that "the rest of us" have been accepting people as they are for a long time . It's not "mind boggling" at all to most of us , but we're glad to have you join the party
I'm not so sure. I've known many social conservatives who would consider it "mind-boggling" to be close friends with a gay person. Conversely, I've had gay friends who would consider it "mind-boggling" to have a close friendship with a social conservative. I think Kris's message is one that is sadly lacking in too many Christian circles today, so I applaud him for reminding everyone that "love thy neighbor" wasn't a suggestion.
Grant- I'd have to disagree with you though, and argue its actually the opposite. In fact, you yourself certaibly don't have the reputation of one who is very accepting towards those who share my worldview. I'd say that those who have a Gospel centered worldview are much more loving towards everyone, even those who are significantly "different" than they are.
Many of my very best friends have a Christian "Gospel centered worldview" , I dont hold that against them . While I may disagree with their opinions and /or beliefs it doesnt preclude us from being friends . Unlike some of those friends I've never made it my concern what other people might do in their bedrooms because a) I dont care and B) it's none of my business . I just dont see it as "mind boggling" at all that you made friends with a co worker .. .
Actually, If you'd open your mind a half a crack, at least long enough to read that article less flippantly, you might see it differently. I think the story is a good one, one that needs to be told. It's a story of true acceptance of the person amid the disagreement of the ideals. You really think you've got the market corned on that one? Really? With the things you say? Your take: "meh...I don't need to read that...I know everything there is to know about acceptance and tolerance. My bestest buddies are members of your stupid cult. Even though I consider them diseased and find their belief in made up campfire crap about invisible sky wizards, I'm so tolerant that I put up with them. It's OK for me to say hateful things, I get a special pass because I sleep in every Sunday. You have a lot to learn from me" Open your mind, man. A bigot who thinks he's not a bigot is still a bigot. A bigot who thinks his brand of bigotry is Okay? That's even worse.
Thank you so much once again for your halfwitted and boring analysis of me .. again.. That was so special, really ... Havent you got disciples to make or something more important that following me around the internet taking shots at me ? Seriously dude...I appreciate the attention but I fear it's become an obsession with you . I read the article . I just dont find it "mind boggling" that Kris and Lori are friends. I'd find it mind boggling if one's superstitions prevented them from making friends with other people
Now, I disagree with some of Kris's positions. For instance, in my experience from attending various churches, those with a "Gospel worldview" are more likely to be insular and less likely to be accepting of differences. But that's only my experience, and I try to recognize that my own biases flavor my worldview and reserve final judgment until the evidence is in. You're dismissing Kris's experience out of hand, and whether you mean to or not, it's making you come across as smugly self-satisfied. Personally, I quickly dismiss the arguments of smugly self-satisfied religious folks. That may be a failing, but most people don't want to deal with smugness, regardless of the worth of the argument being made. So I imagine humble religious folks -- who are trying, like Kris, to say something important about how religion relates to the world outside the church -- have the right to dismiss the arguments of smugly self-satisfied secularists.
...Actually, we could probably spend all the extra free time on important things like science, aid to the disenfranchised and political cooperation.
More analysis of me ? Really? I just dont think that Kris having a gay friend is any sort of a "big deal" or "mind boggling" or a " relationship that just shouldn't be (according to our culture)." Color me "smugly self satisfied" if you like . I have always made my friendships based solely on "the person" . I find it "mind boggling" that this comes as some sort of epiphany to anyone . I dont qualify my friendships based on what church people go to or what they do in their bedrooms and I remain smugly self satisfied that is the way it should be and it's good to see Kris in agreement , even if he finds it "mind boggling" to simply accept people for who they are .
You don't have anything to apologize for, Ryan. That was well said and spot on. Gold star.
Please point out my offense in this discussion that caused you to go off on yet another round of personal attacks against me ? Maybe you should try church or something to improve your attitude towards others?
Oh, wait...
Maybe it's opposite day in Grant/Bizzaro World? At a minimum, calling someone a half-wit is assigning a label no matter how you slice it. Maybe you should read this article again as it seems you might've missed that point.
And again I didnt call YOU a halfwit chum, I commented on your unprovoked analysis of me .. To those with no wit at all half witted IS indeed a compliment , it's all a matter of perspective now isnt it?
I can play off technicalities and the stupid literalism game too, chum...
A story well worth reading, from both sides of the fishbowl. Or maybe it's that fishbowls don't even really have sides? Maybe it's that some fish just hang back...either out of fear, misunderstanding, or self-satisfied smugness. Probably a combination of all in most cases.
I find that I can get along with anybody that is not a strict fundamentalist. It's a general fact that most people, in a one on one situation, strive to be amenable.
Good point. One of the best friends I've ever had, an old Army buddy, couldn't be further away from me on the political and social spectrum (although he occasionally surprises me on a case-by-case basis). When we get together, we get into huge political arguments, but they're arguments over a beer, with a lot of laughing and general good nature. You're right -- most people aren't insufferable jerks one-on-one. The Internet can make you forget that!
Well that cuts it. No way I could even be remotely civil to a vegan ( because what YOU eat is somehow MY business ) Of course I'm joking. Someone's eating habits/lifestyle is no more a barrier to friendship to me than their sexual orientation or religious beliefs. Boggles the mind...
Next time maybe you could read my posts before you get all personal