Cold Coffee and A Blank Screen

Last night I had great plans. I was going to have the opportunity to sit down and do a little writing. I really enjoy writing and blogging both on my personal blog as well as the Patch. However, with four kids and two jobs time is sometimes scarce. But last night, it was going to be the perfect opportunity to get some done.

My wife was meeting with her Disciple Group (aka the Small, Small group) so I had the boys by myself. I got home from work right about dinner time, in fact she was putting the plates on the table (in other words- perfect timing on my part). She had to leave before we finished dinner (with four boys our meal times take a while to finish), so there I was, flying solo with my boys.

My plan was simple. Finish dinner and let them play for a little while. Kids 1, 3, and 4 had to have a bath, so it was bedtime for Kid 2 (aka Mito Man).  Then it was bedtime for all. Rock the baby, clean the kitchen, and I was home free (at least that was the plan). Thankfully, because of the awesomeness of my wife, not only did she cook an outstanding meal, she cleaned up as she went, so there wasn't too much to clean up.

It was just about the time that I had cranked up my computer and fixed a cup of coffee that it happened.

The baby (Kid #4) woke up.

So I went and held him and rocked him back to sleep. He was restless and a little unhappy so it took longer than I had planned. So there I sat, my computer wound up going to sleep, my coffee wound up going cold. But it was still a win for the night.

Because I got to spend time with my littlest pal.

I just sat and held him and watched him as he slept. It's hard to control the wandering of your mind at times like this.

What is he going to be when he grows up?

What will his personality be like?

What does the future hold?

Does he have any idea how much I love him?

The questions could go on forever- the fears, the worries about his future. My greatest emotion during these times of sitting and watching my kids isn't fear though.

It's love. It's overwhelming for me many times, just to sit and hold one of my boys, to watch them sleep, or even to watch them while they are awake. I am always struck by how much I love them.

And that's why even though my coffee was cold, and my "golden" chance to write was lost, it was still a perfect evening for me.

Because I love my boys.

And all too soon they'll be grown up, too big or busy to sit and be held by Daddy, so I have to fight for each moment with them now. To pour into their lives at each and every opportunity. 

And that's more important than the perfect blog post, or the perfect cup of coffee.