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See You At the Poll

Some little known "facts" to help inform your voting today.

It's amazing what you can discover when you do a little research. I've been taking to heart the many Facebook and Twitter pleas to dig into the candidates and really discover what's behind their campaigns. After hours sitting in front of Google, exhaustively typing in millions of search word permutations, I've finally arrived at some of the most shocking discoveries about both candidates that I could've never imagined (and some of which I actually did imagine).

For instance:

- Did you know Mitt Romney's been married to the same woman for, like, a long time? And same thing with Barack Obama?

- Did you know that both men have personal, religious faith that guides them? And still some people see both as godless?

- This one blew my mind: both guys seem to wear suits. A lot. Creepy, right?

- Both candidates have last names that feature the sound "Ahm", which means that both are secretly Buddhist. Or at least into the Beatles circa '68.

- Most people know President Obama is a huge basketball fan, but did you know that Mitt Romney can dunk on an 11' rim? And has a tattoo on his right bicep that says "Mad Skrillz"?

- Both men like sending things overseas: jobs, troops, Skype conversations...

- Much has been made over Mitt Romney's family investing in a company that operates voting booths in Ohio; curiously, no one has made anything of the fact that Barack Obama operates the entire country where voting is taking place.

- Did you know that the Constitution allows for only three approved reasons NOT to vote?

- Did you know that the average time on line for a voter will still be 2 hours less than the average kid watches TV each day?

- There's an old wives tale that says if you don't vote, your hair will fall out at an inopportune time, like while standing in the buffet line at the Golden Corral.

- And finally, Twitter has reportedly given the Fail Whale steroids in order to keep it ready for the massive server interruptions that are bound to happen around 7 PM EST.

So, as you can see, this is an important election. Your vote counts, so get out there and cast it.

And if you don't, try not to go anywhere in public for a while. It would be embarrassing to have carry your hair home in your pockets...

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Ryan Smith (Editor) November 06, 2012 at 03:24 PM
Jason: Thanks for some much-needed levity on Election Day. I have to admit, I would pay real money to see Mitt Romney dunk on an 11' rim.
Tammy Osier November 06, 2012 at 03:32 PM
Since this is about putting sa little humor into the mix, I wouldn't be a good republican if I didn't submit a few political jokes: Obama's Reasons for Losing all Three Debates: It's George Bush's fault. Forgot to e-mail Jim Leher the debate questions beforehand. Bob Schieffer ain't no Candy Crowley. Thought it was supposed to be another View appearance. The darn voters won't quit believing their own eyes. Had to cancel a fundraiser to be there Saw Michelle sitting a little too close to Hillary in the audience. Did his debate preparation with Joe Biden. Upset that he was going to miss the start of the Mark Levin show. Going to appeal the results to Chief Justice Roberts anyway. It's George Bush's fault.
Tammy Osier November 06, 2012 at 03:34 PM
Obama Economy Jokes Q. Are you better off than you were four years ago? A. Obama is. Q. How can Obama improve the economy? A. Lose the election. President Thomas Jefferson made the Louisiana purchase for 233 million dollars. Obama spent more than that while you were reading this.
Tammy Osier November 06, 2012 at 03:35 PM
Romney's 2013 New Year's Resolutions: ■Prepare Secret Service pink slips . ■Track and freeze pardon payments. ■Shred piles of Hope n' Change posters. ■Donate teleprompters to the Salvation Army. ■Flip off Hillary Clinton. ■Send Chris Matthews a condolence letter. ■Take Eric Holder into custody. ■Remove hair plug coverage from ObamaCare.
Tammy Osier November 06, 2012 at 03:36 PM
Obama was leaving the country club golf course when he was accosted by an armed robber who demanded, "Give me all of your money!" Barack haughtily replied, "Do you know who I am. I'm the President of the United States!" The robber snarled back, "Then give me all MY money."
Vanzetta Evans (Editor) November 06, 2012 at 08:43 PM
Having lived in MA, Romney was my governor at one time and the story about him dunking on an 11' rim is true. He did it during a game of 1 on 5 versus the Boston Celtics-- Him versus the NBA players. Then after beating them all, he flew away on his magical pegasus.
Vanezza Prado November 06, 2012 at 09:06 PM
These would be soooo funny if he HAD lost all of the debates...nice try, though!
Tammy Osier November 06, 2012 at 09:11 PM
Depends on whatyou base winning or losing a debate on. In my opinion, true attitudes were revealed. One seemed much more in control of his emotions and presidential to me. My opinion, so don't crucify me. lol
Tammy Osier November 06, 2012 at 09:12 PM
Got to admit the last joke sums the feel of most people though. I want my money back.
Mitch November 06, 2012 at 09:16 PM
New Poll: Who has the cooler name? Vanzetta or Vanezza? My vote goes to Vanzetta by a slight margin, but either name would look cool as a tattoo on your right bicep, much better than "Mad Skrills".
Tammy Osier November 06, 2012 at 09:20 PM
SERIOUSLY!!! I actually scrolled back and looked for a big green P. LOL Both cool names.
Nod November 06, 2012 at 10:26 PM
Tammy, speak for yourself. Why could you not let Jason's piece remain as is; it did not need "backup?" His was neither pro or con for either candidate; just some little known facts and a bit of humor. We all need to loosen up and laugh every now and then, especially on Patch Comments; however, there are those who seem to need to interfere with that by interjecting their personal biases.
Tammy Osier November 06, 2012 at 10:40 PM
Nod - you are welcome to post some republican jokes. Both sides should be able to take it. Right now, I think Jason is saying that we might as well laugh a little. Jason, what are the three reasons that the constitution allows one not to vote? I've not ever heard that.
Chris November 06, 2012 at 10:56 PM
Romney Wins Ohio! Anyone heard about Florida and North Carolina? Obama needs to go home and start packing. Chicago, Here He Comes Again!
Vanezza Prado November 07, 2012 at 02:54 AM
LOL! Thanks Mitch! I vote for Vanezza but then again, I'm a little biased!
Vanezza Prado November 07, 2012 at 02:55 AM
Thanks Tammy!
Vanezza Prado November 07, 2012 at 02:56 AM
No crucifying here Tammy LOL! We agree to disagree!
Jason Brooks November 07, 2012 at 03:38 PM
No such reasons exist. That was one of the things I "imagined". :)
Ryan Brooks November 07, 2012 at 03:57 PM
LOL Now that's funny right there, no matter who you vote for! LOL
Nod November 07, 2012 at 07:46 PM
Why would I post Republican jokes? Actually I could post Republican or Democrat jokes if I so desire. You are assuming I am a Democrat because I made a comment about your corny so-called jokes about the President. What Ryan has written is not biased; however, what you have written is. It is unfortunate that Governor Romney will not be able to keep the 2013 resolutions that you have proposed.
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