Life Imitating TV

I admit; we have always spent a lot of time watching TV. When my children were young, I was hypnotized by Barney before I ever became mesmerized by the Teletubbies. We didn’t “do” the Wiggles; they were just too weird.

And I confess. A single mom with much to get done during each day, I often turned on a video as a means to getting some of those things done around the house.

But I also confess, as a young-ish single mom, there were SOME things that I reviewed by watching with the kids that gave me pause. What was the educational value of this series of Olsen twins movies or that series of animated princesses? And was that value REALLY necessary? I mean, couldn’t TV just be a few moments of entertainment and escapism while the twins traipsed through England or frogs turned into princes?

The thing is, I believe every experience is a learning experience for a young mind. And I have noticed that most shows targeted at young audiences have a very obvious message. Conflict or wacky situations with a resolution at the end of the allotted 30 minutes that taught, perhaps that these things were just part of life, we all mess up and with a good heart, things can be set to right.

So while we watched our share of Lizzie McGuire and learned silly songs with Sesame Street, I took the Disney Princess movies out of the mix of acceptable viewing material for my impressionable girls.

Yeah. Those darned princesses. While I’m NOT (really, I’m not) a militant feminist in the terms of hating men as a species, I did take exception to watching these beautifully animated women who could cook and clean for a house full of tiny men, take care of their step sisters, rule kingdoms with a smile and a wave while they maintain a perfect coif – I had issue with the fact that they became victims of some horrible evil and could not manage to resolve it on their own. Trusting and naïve, they were the  innocent prey of some malfeasance; a beautiful young woman with a target on her back and not nearly enough good sense. Oh, nooooo. It took some handsome prince to bring about resolution.

I wanted my girls to be independent and self confident of their own skills; not to fall into a deadly swoon at conflict; to be trusting, but not naïve. Not to be a victim.

My Epiphany of the Princesses was definitely a turning point in how I raised my girls. Role models come from many walks of each life and sometimes that model actually IS a fictional character. The impact of young girls growing up on screen and turning into young women actually does have implications. I notice, in general, producers are sensitive to this to some degree and I’m generally pleased with most of the young-adult genre of movies and programming. Even Hannah Montana has had a few boy problems. And Anne Hathaway knows just the right words when a princess finds that she has been horribly rude to her best friend.

And that’s why I’m taking issue with some of the reality shows that promote “REAL” life as drama-laden and conflict provoking. Young women who are beyond bratty as they are presented with ultimate Sweet 16 parties; beautiful women who perpetuate controversy by fighting or cheating … these are not the role models I want for my 15 year old. Sitting down and watching movies or shows of HER choosing brought some new insight. From Spongebob to real housewives … it’s varied. But I recognize that some of her behaviors are based on thinking that lives of constant bickering and conflict are normal.

While I know she's at an age of some independence that looks amazingly like rebellion, the constant drama that she seems to be engulfed in with friends overwhelms her ability to have a positive high school experience. So I’ll be watching a bit more TV it seems. And trying to redirect the energy. I know we'll never return to learning the alphabet and life lessons at the knees of Big Bird, but it looks like learning to handle REAL real-life situations will require the finesse of REAL person guidance.

 And it must be time to bring out my six seasons of Xena, Warrior Princess.