Summer School for My Child: Thoughts Are Needed
Summer is approaching, and that means that my husband and I have some decisions to make. Here is our quandary.
Our daughter, who turned 3 years old in January, has been attending a daycare/preschool since she was about 2 1/2 years old. We enrolled her so she would have less mommy and more social interactions with kids her own age. She adjusted very well. We started out 3 mornings a week. Then we progressed to 3 full days. She again did very well. She has now been going for a full week and still loves it. She has made many friends there. It is sometimes difficult to even get her to come home.
Here is our debate:
I have been a stay at home mom since she was born. I am now considering going back to work. So, do we want her to have structured learning/play all year round and stay enrolled for summer school, or take a break from classroom learning and just play at home? Summer means pools, sandboxes, water parks, swing sets, amusement parks, family time, etc. That is what summer is all about to me, but we want what is best for her, in the short run and long run.
We are now faced with making a decision as to whether to keep her in school for the summer or let her be at home. I see benefits of both options. She has definitely benefited from the world around her in school. She has certainly thrived in a structured play environment but is there such a thing as too much school? She will be enrolled in preschool starting in the summer (they transition at year end). She will be able to go into pre-k in January 2013. Will she lose what she has gained if we keep her home? Will she get burned out from school and have a bad feeling about school when she gets into kindergarten and older if she stays enrolled? Thus our quandary.
We would love to find out about what other families (working and non working families) are doing for the summer. What do you think?
Sharon Swanepoel
7:29 pm on Sunday, April 22, 2012
Laura, Steve was kind enough to share your thoughts with us here in Loganville and Grayson and there are some comments on the Loganville-Grayson Facebook Page at http://www.facebook.com/LoganvillePatch/posts/261679603927230?notif_t=share_comment. I guess it's a topic that touches a nerve with several people.
Laura Cofman
11:14 am on Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Sharon-thank you for sending this to me. I will check out the responses. I have not had a chance in the past few days. My daughter, Samantha, has been home from school not feeling well.
Steve Burns
6:04 am on Monday, April 23, 2012
Thanks, Sharon.
Rick Smith
7:42 am on Monday, April 23, 2012
I think she'll benefit more from some more love and closeness/bonding with her family at home. I understand you may want or need to go back to work, but it can wait a couple months. You'll have the rest of your life to work and she only has this one summer to be a three year old at home with her loving mom. While I think it's possible to have too much structured activities or school as a child ( I actually think there is too much of it now), it's not possible to get too much love from her mom at home. Trust me, you will cherish those moments years from now and so will she. It is setting the tone for your relationship with her for the rest of her life.
Just one opinion, but keep her home for both of your sakes
Laura Cofman
11:19 am on Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Rick-Thank you for your comments. Interestingly enough, I have been told that Samantha (aka Sammi) has TOO MUCH mommy. I am a very involved mother. She is my only child and I am perceived as an older mom (in my mid 40's). I am very tied in and tuned in to her comfort, emotions, etc. I originally enrolled her in September 2011 to help with separation anxiety and to eventually prepare her for Kindergarten and beyond. Can she have TOO MUCH mommy? Daddy travels 2/month for one week at a time.
Karen
8:20 am on Monday, April 23, 2012
I think a break from school would be good. I was a single, divorced mom for my daughter's entire life. Her father never exercised his visitation. My daughter had to be in daycare/pre-school, there was no other choice until she was about 6 or 7. At that point, my employer let me work from home - what a blessing. My hours weren't flexible, so it wasn't just fun all summer, but at least she got to stay home with me. I think kids need to be kids for some part of their lives. While I don't think daycare/pre-school is a bad thing, I can tell you from experience that my daughter being home in the summers and able to do things with friends was a blessing. She is now a young adult in college at Georgia Tech and we have a good, close relationship. As a teenager, she stayed out of trouble, found a job, and saved her money. She has turned out to be a very mature young lady. I think family time and play time is very important. I will say that when my daughter was in day care, in the summer I sent her to some day camps instead of being in actual day care.
Good luck on your decisions, you will know what is right for your child and your family.
Laura Cofman
11:24 am on Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Thank you, Karen for your feedback. It has been a difficult decision because I do know that it can set the tone for our relationship and also for future perception of school. I want her to have a passion for learning and a passion for family. Before I had a child, I was (and still am) against someone else "raising" my daughter. I want to have a strong influence on who she is and who she becomes. I do think that the influences at school can be good but I do want her thrive at home and away from home.
I am sorry that you had to go through being a single mom but it sounds like you did a great job.
David Leader
10:20 am on Monday, April 23, 2012
There's no wrong answer here; I know parents want to nurture and spend time with them, but also make sure she gets social balance. Either way she'll turn out fine; the fact that you care enough to ask speaks miles more than your final decision. :).
Laura Cofman
11:27 am on Tuesday, April 24, 2012
David, Thank you for your reply and the compliment. Unfortunately, there are moms in the world that are not involved with their children and provide the love and support that all children deserve and need to thrive in this society. I believe that if all parents could make the right sacrifices in their lives for the children, the world would be a better place to be.
Susan
10:37 am on Monday, April 23, 2012
You better see IF you can get a job first! It may take months, so you might not have to make this decision for awhile. With 2 B.S. college degrees I have had 3 jobs this last year, lasting only 3 months each, from general labor to medical imaging. Were in a depression. Enjoy every minute with your child, I'm a single Mom and the economy makes us have to work outside of the home. You only get one shot at raising children right. If you can afford it mix Mother's Day Out programs with at home-best of both worlds.
Laura Cofman
11:32 am on Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Susan, I want to give my daughter, Samantha, everything she needs to be successful. I define success by being happy with who she is and her decision in life. My concern with keeping her out of summer school (which is when she will actually start preschool). Her birthday is in January so they wouldn't transfer her until now. She will be on the older side of her classmates and she progresses through school.