My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

Yeah, they loved me so much they got me a cat to keep me company. It didn't work though...when I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

LOL...

"so, I was making love to my new girlfriend the other night and she started crying....I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning.....She said, No, I hate myself now!"

One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.

Yeah, once when I was kidnapped, they sent my cut off finger to my dad. He sent it back and said he wanted more proof.

LOL.....Tammy, it doth appear that you and I are the ONLY Two people in Loganville and Grayson that have a sense of humor

"I told my wife I was going to get her the book "Fifty Shades of Gray" for her birthday but she said she'd rather have 2 25 shades of Blonde instead....."

I have actually compiled the 'andy griffith Trivia Pop Quiz and Exam" from all the shows. Maybe I should post it and see if people are as smart as they say they are. Some of the quesiton s are pretty hard! No way to pass unles you can say the lines with barney every time you watch a rerun. lol

"The Sex was soooo good the other night, the neighbors had a cigarette......"

"My wife keeps me in line no matter how many other guys are in front of me...."

"I was so ugly when I was born that my momma fed me with a slingshot"

"The only time I hear heavy breathing in my bed now is when my girlfriend has an asthma attack..."

"Women are like roads, the more curves they have the more dangerous they are"