Leigh, I think you found just the right answer for those of us who had such varying degrees of emotions when the cover hit. Each child is different and trying to fit parenting into a specific model is just asking for controversy (and Time did that really well!). I do remember when my children were younger that I second guessed myself sometimes based on what I had experienced with my own parents or with friends with children. So it's good to know there are varying types of successful parents for the myriad types of kids who will rule the world some day!

That cover/article certainly didn't make me wonder if I was "Mom Enough." More, it just irritated me that a parenting style was made to seem so extreme! I never planned to cosleep or any of that business, but, like you, was presented with a first born child who would not sleep longer than 20 minutes in his crib and was coined "Colonel Fusster" by everyone around him during the day. So, you bet your bottom I was excited to read Dr. Sears and be given the "permission" to hold him and sleep with him in my bed! I also only planned to nurse him for a year and ended up going until 2 1/2!! Like, you, Leigh, my daughter was opposite. She did not want to be held and slept better alone. She also decided to stop nursing cold turkey at 18 months!! Funny enough, at age three, she asks to nurse all the time..obviously, I can't help her there!

Anyway, I just thought the whole thing was ridiculous. Anyone who has birthed more than one child should understand that everyone, every child, every family is different. If there was really only one way to do things, there wouldn't be so many damn books about it. It really isn't a contest. We're all just trying to figure out what works for our families.

And, aside from a few jerks here and there, the "Mommy Wars" is just media hype. I really don't spend any of my extra time deciding if another mom is "mom enough". Only a**holes do that, and they were judging you before they were a mommy anyway!! :)

I agree with the above reflections. I have 2 kids, and they couldn't be more different. I subscribe to the AP philosophy, but I also think you have to do what works as you parent, and be confident in your decisions if you are coming from a base of love. I do think all that "Are you Mom enough?" garbage is just that.....however, I had no problems with the picture and was aghast at the suggestions of "child pornography" by some who reacted to the photo. If people have a hard time seeing a young looking, attractive Mom breastfeeding her 3 year old, I think they should relax over this non-issue. I know there is an argument for the cradling and nurturing postures of breastfeeding, but I also know that the older my kids got, the harder it was to have them lay down in the "baby" position to nurse or get their diapers changed. I changed plenty of diapers with my kids standing up, and I can remember my son, who was 2 at the time, waving at the mailman while he nursed. (we were in my backyard) I'd rather see a million more covers of Moms, of any age, shape, look, breastfeeding than the covers that don't get done - of snot covered kids sitting in their bouncy seats because they are sick and infrequently attended at daycare.

I LOVED THIS ARTICLE! I know my font is all caps but that's because you so eloquently put into words everything I think about my own mothering AND about this whole TIME cover thing.
Seriously, Leigh. This article is good enough to be in The NY Times and beyond. I've read just about every article from every viewpoint out there and loved this to pieces. LOVED it. This is an important piece.

Thank God! Finally a sound judgement on that absurd cover. You are so right, we need to be the Mom that our kids need and the whole "Mommy Wars" thing is a load of crap. If more women thought like you, the world would be filled with confident and capable moms. Thank you for writing this.

I think the Time article is most valuable for having made so many people realize that they were being purposefully antagonized by said article.

I personally feel there is WAY too much pressure on moms these days to be superwoman, work, mother, domestic godness, all while staying a nice size 6 and looking sexy. The mere title of this article offends me. I don't think our mothers worried so much about doing everything little thing right and being perfect like we do. Blah. :)

I think all women-- and men-- should be offended by the Time article and cover. The main stream media (often called the lame stream media for good reason) has a penchant for categorizing people within a group and then treating that group as a monolith. In so doing, they minimize the importance of the individual traits that make everyone different. So when someone poses the question, "Are you mom enough?" and asks it within the context of a "mother monolith", they are actually trying to minimize your individuality and place you within their preconceived parameters. Such questions are nothing more than insults that don't even deserve consideration, let alone an answer.

I don't know any moms who have read only one book or used only one style. You are exactly right, we do what is best for each child. While the article brings attachment parenting to light, I don't think any good purpose is served by the combination of that photo and headline. It's odd that people find the "method" of just being in tune with your child extreme in any way.